„At the age of five I was bitten by a mutated recorder at the open day of the regional music school.
First I felt no impact, but after two hours I got red marks everywhere on my body. I immediately thought that it came from the double bass that had fallen on me before, but the next day I had fever.
The doctor said it was a virus and that it would pass after two weeks. However, after two weeks I began to hallucinate and I saw recorders everywhere. All of a sudden I started playing the recorder virtuously. First secretly and at night. I put myself on a cloak with red spots and climbed the roof of my parent’s house. Because I did not wanted to rouse my parents I jumped from roof top to roof top and played the music my mother had been listening to while pregnant with me. I realized that whenever I played the recorder with my nose I could hinder burglary and theft. I spread love instead! To my sounds the neighbor’s cat regularly mated with the mouse she would eat afterwards.
One day my recorder playing was detected because the criminal rate of my home town had fell to zero.
Since the chief of police was afraid of losing his job, I was banned from playing the recorder in my home town.
Ever since I am touring around and make the world just a teeny-weeny little bit safer and more beautiful. So it would not attract too much attention…“